Saito's Replacment Agency
by amakakeru ryu no hirameki
Summary: You like us to tell you the summary wouldn't you?? Well we're not going to! *do do do!* You'll just have to read the story. Ryu no hirameki: look at the title, it says it all! Amakakeru: you were't suppposed to say that!


A perfect replacement  
  
Amakakeru: Hi! I'm amakakeru (aka Lumina glow)  
  
Ryu No hirameki: Hi I'm ryu no hirameki (aka msanogi)  
  
Amakakeru & ryu no hirameki: and together we're AMAKAKERU RYU NO HIRAMEKI!!!!  
  
Reader: Isn't a sword technique?  
  
Amakakeru: Only when we're together!  
  
Reader: *blinks*  
  
Ryu no hirameki: That's my line!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't on Rurouken. I do, however, own a Kenshin and Sano doll. That's all.  
  
Warning: There is a butt-load of character bashing in this fic. We don't mean anything by it. We love all of the characters and we think they're coooooooooool. Okay? So don't think that we hate them or anything. *nods*  
  
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It all started on a perfect day at the spa..  
  
Kenshin: Ahh, this is so relaxing. It feels so good. Especially to be away from..  
  
*hears Kaoru in the bushes*  
  
Kaoru: Do you think he heard us?  
  
Megumi: What? I couldn't hear you because you were SPEAKING SO LOUDLY!!!  
  
Kaoru: I think he heard you.  
  
Megumi: (sarcastically) Well why don't you just ask him?  
  
Kaoru: (doesn't get the picture) OKAY! ^^ *jumps out of the bushes* Did you hear us?  
  
Kenshin: O.O oroo??  
  
Megumi: *grabs Kaoru* You stupid idiot! What do you have to say for yourself?!?  
  
Kaoru: Well, nothing, because I want to say it for YOU!!!! ^^!  
  
Megumi: *blinks then drags her away*  
  
Kenshin: I never get ANY privacy with Kaoru and Megumi around!  
  
Sano: *pops up out of nowhere* What's up dude?  
  
Kenshin: Even Sano's a little weird.  
  
Sano: What'd you say?  
  
Kenshin: I think you should get a beard!  
  
Sano: Really? I thought a clean cut was a magnet for women.  
  
Kenshin: Where's the women?  
  
Sano: Good point. I'm off to grow a beard! See you in 3 months!  
  
Kenshin: Why 3 months?  
  
Sano: Cause that's how long it's gonna take for me to get off my ass and get a hair tonic.  
  
Kenshin: Understandable.  
  
Sano: Well I'll see ya! *stands there*  
  
Kenshin: Why are you just standing there?  
  
Sano: Because everyone knows I'll walk away if I say, "See ya!" I mean jeez..how original is that? So I'm just gonna stay here *walks off*  
  
Kenshin: I wish I had a stunt double. Wait, oh yeah, I had one, but he died in a tragic piñata accident. I knew he shouldn't have worn that shirt that said, "Look! I'm a piñata! Beat me with sticks!"  
  
Saito: *appears out of nowhere*  
  
Kenshin: Whoa! What're you doing here?  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* Wouldn't you like to know?  
  
Kenshin: No, actually I don't. I just have a habit of saying, "Whoa! What're you doing here?"  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* Well I was gonna tell you anyway. *puffs cigarette* I was sent here *puffs cigarette* to be your double.  
  
Kenshin: But we don't look nothing alike.  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* People mistake you for me *pauses and puffs cigarette* well never, but who's going to notice? Your surrounded by a bunch of idiots. I mean there's kauro, need I say anything? And Sano, need I say more? And everyone else is just their.  
  
Kenshin: But where will I go?  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* How should I know? What do I look like *puffs cigarette* a figgin' travel agency? Kenshin: Actually, that's what it says on your t-shirt.  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* Damn, I really need to talk with the authors about that.  
  
Amakakeru: Fly t-shirts! Fly!  
  
Ryu no hirameki: Be free, t-shirts that are gonna fall on the floor and be picked up by people who want free t-shirts but aren't really free because people are wearing them and I'll just snatch them back as soon as they put them on  
  
Amakakeru: *pause* Be free! *snatches Saito's t-shirt which has his uniform underneath*  
  
Saito: *Puffs cigarette* Well, now I'm not anymore. *puffs cigarette*  
  
Kenshin: Doesn't that cigarette ever run out?  
  
Saito: *Puffs cigarette* Why are you still here? Your getting a break. Leave! *puffs cigarette that never dies*  
  
Kenshin: *jumps out of the spa, knowing he has no clothes on and walks towards the sunset*  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* the things I do for money *puts on Kenshin's clothes and walks towards the dojo*  
  
Kaoru: Hey Kenshin. Sorry about earlier.  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* yeah .yeah, whatever. *puffs cigarette*  
  
Kaoru: why are you so tall?  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* growth spurt *puffs cigarette*  
  
Kaoru: Why are you smoking?  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* Have you ever seen me smoke before? *puffs cigarette*  
  
Kaoru: no.  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* well there ya go.  
  
Kaoru: why do you have black hair?  
  
Saito: *puff cigarette* Why are you asking me these question? *puffs cigarette* Do you like me or something?  
  
Kaoru: Well of course not, even though I do and I'm going to marry you later in the series and have your child kanji. But you now suppose to know that so I'll go. But I'm going to stay here so I can go, but I'm going to stay. (leaves) Saito: *puffs cigarette* Idiot.  
  
*Yahiko walks in*  
  
Yahiko: Hey Saito. What're you doing here?  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* What're you talking about? I'm Kenshin.  
  
Yahiko: You just stole the idiot's clothes.  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* Congratulations *puffs cigarette* Not only did you find out Kenshin's an idiot, but you found me. *puffs cigarette* It's like where Waldo but with smoking.  
  
Yahiko: You realize I'm going to tell everyone, right?  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette then hands him a wad of yen* Why won't you go get some ice cream?  
  
Yahiko: With a 1,000 yen? ($100)?!  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* yeah, knock yourself out. Rob a couple of 7-11's while your at it *puffs cigarette*  
  
Yahiko: I don't know what the hell that is, but screw you guys. I'm getting ice cream! (runs off)  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* Let's just hope that's the end of the dork parade, *puffs cigarette*  
  
(Sano walks in)  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* Aww they left their monkey behind *puffs cigarette*  
  
Sano: Hey I wasn't able to grow a beard, but I did get an afro.  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* a what?  
  
Sano: *takes off bandana and an afro pops out*  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* how did that happen?  
  
Sano: Well, I accidentally didn't read the directions on the hair tonic and I shoved it up in me butt.  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* then why is it on your head?  
  
Sano: I remember my head is connected to my butt.  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* sorry I asked *puffs cigarette*  
  
Sano: Hey, something's different about you. Did you get a hair-cut?  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* you have a good eye*puffs cigarette* no one else noticed.  
  
Sano: yeah I know. My teach said I was always so ob-sir-vay-ie-ve  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* you mean observative?  
  
Sano: Yeah that!  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* I was just wondering, what do you think of Saito?  
  
Sano: Saito? I hate him he's a jerk! Like beef jerky. Mmmmmm.. Beef jerky *drools*  
  
Saito: * angrily puffs cigarette and then flicks it in Sano's eye*  
  
Sano: AHHH! It burns! It burns!  
  
Saito: *lights up another cigarette* Oh clumsy me, there goes your good eye.  
  
Sano: Oh that's ok Kenshin. But as I was saying. Saito's such a liar. Like any woman would marry him! HAH!  
  
Saito: *doesn't even puff cigarette and flicks it in his other eye*  
  
Sano: Oh god, the pain!  
  
Saito: *lights another cigarette* Damn how clumsy can I be? I mean there goes both of your good eyes.  
  
Sano: That's ok I just think I should go to the hospital for these 5th degree burns. The door is this way right? *points to the wall*  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* Yup. There's the door.  
  
Sano: Thanks! *takes off running and knocks himself out*  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* Or was that the wall? I get those two words mixed up. *puffs cigarette* They're so alike.  
  
(suddenly Kenshin walks in)  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* What're you doing here? I thought you were on a vacation.  
  
Kenshin: I was, but I realized how much I love my friends. No matter how stupid, annoying, disturbing, and utterly hopeless they are.  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* you didn't have anywhere to go did you?  
  
Kenshin: Well what did you think? I'm a friggin' Rurouni and I just save the world. If they paid me it'd be too much like RIGHT!  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* Whatever. *puffs cigarette* it's your funeral. *Rips off Kenshin's clothes revealing his uniform underneath*  
  
Kenshin: How do you do that?  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* Practice. *puffs cigarette* Well I'll be off now. *starts walking off*  
  
Kenshin: Aren't you going to stay so that you can go?  
  
Saito: I don't just do what everyone else does. If I did that, I'd be addicted to smoking. *puffs cigarette*  
  
(long pause)  
  
Saito: Whaat? *puffs cigarette then walks off*  
  
Kenshin: *stares at camera* I just remembered. I'm still naked.  
  
Camera man: And that's my problem, how?  
  
Amakakeru: and so end's the story with and unconscious sano.  
  
Ryu no hirameki: an embarrassed Kaoru.  
  
Amakakeru: and a friggin' rich Yahiko. The only question is, what's Saito doing?  
  
Saito: *puffs cigarette* Aoshi...I'm here to be your double..  
  
The end?   
  
Ryu no hirameki: YAY! It's done!!!! *jumps around*  
  
Amakakeru: I dunno about that ending. The end? That soo not original. How about once upon an end?  
  
Ryu no hirameki: *pouts* but I like that ending!!  
  
Amakakeru: That's why we're keeping the END. Not THE and end. Just end.  
  
Ryu no hirameki: *blinks* (yay I got my line back ^^x!)  
  
Reader: *blink blink blink blink blink blink*  
  
Ryu no hirameki: Get off my line!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!! *savagely attacks reader*  
  
Amakakeru: Well, she's busy now. *looks back and sees ryu no hirameki rip off the readers arm* Uhhh, R/R. Plz. No flames. Or THIS might happen to YOU. *points to the reader*  
  
Reader: MY ARM!!! OH GOD!!!!!! MY ARMMM!!!! *starts crying* 


End file.
